As I am about to make the long trip home in the middle of the night, I have enough food for thoughts for the 6 to 7 hours of Autobahn that lie ahead of me.
A painful email by a good friend and mentor today that recalled the mistakes I’ve made in and the past and the pain I’ve inflicted on people that cared about me. The chain of events one mistake can trigger, and the nagging “what-ifs” that embrace your thoughts and choke your mind.
Another email by a good friend and sister, telling me that she’ll leave this town tomorrow and won’t be back after summer – contrary to what I had thought. I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye. Of course, I’ll visit her in Paris and she’ll come see me in Porto – but it won’t be the same once I return to the Maas and she’s not around.
But also the anxiety of my roommates UNL endeavor, his good performance so far and the ever more realistic chance of him making next year’s team. As I accompanied him to Nijmegen for the second selection round yesterday, I’m positive I was as nervous as I was when going through the procedure myself 12 months ago – if not more.
Lastly, the excitement about the upcoming months, as I’ll get the chance to explore new countries and cultures very different from my own and everything I’ve experienced so far. A good mix of emotions. Let’s see what I come up with.
Hoffnung means hope…